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OK -- this is strange. W.bloggar, the interface I've been using to blog is no longer working, but, that's ok. I'm too tired and drunk to care.

HEY!

What's new?

I've not posted jack shit in months and months and months. I'm sorry. I'd love to say that it's because so much stuff has been happening that I've not had time or words to catalog it all, but, sadly, it's because I've been busy. Busy working and drinking. I still remember Pastor Jeff, and Dav, and Mark, and, honestly, you three were the only ones really reading this damned thing in the first place.

So, how have I been? Hellbound, apparently. I always suspected as much, but, now that El Pape has confirmed it, I've loads less on my mind. Time to bang all the pussy I can, I guess. I guess I can kill, lie and covet, too. None of these things is as fun as banging pussy, though. Why are some sins more fun than others to commit?

Yeah.

Anyway, turns out that I know an entirely worthless piece of shit. I'm not Pastor Jeff, and I've not met and/or counseled truly awful people, but, fuck.

I am not a violent person. I'm not one who gets riled up over shit that doesn't matter. I don't like being angry, I don't like acid in my stomach, I don't like my nose swelling up, my hackles rising up, none of that. I take drugs to prevent anger/anxiety/emotions. And I drink.

But, I've got a story to tell. A story about a dipshit. I am not changing any names, because I think that dipshits should be exposed for what they are. This dipshit is named Schuyler.

When Schuyler fucks up, he does not fuck around. If he had the same sort of dedication towards life as he had towards fucking up, he would be richer, smarter, quicker... hell, he would be better than any of us. He would be great. He would be a great boy. No, he would be a great MAN.

As it stands, however, he is a dipshit who should be put in jail.

Let me clarify -- Do I think that jail will help a 17-year-old? Absolutely not. He will be raped, beaten, fucked over, ripped raw and taken advantage of. However, he needs to be punished, severely, for what he (and his girlfriend, don't think I've forgotten about you, Sadie (yup, she's a minor (14 years old), but, dammit, she's given birth to a child) has done. Wow. Parentheses.

Anyway.

Schuyler decides to try to teach himself to drive. Not a bad plan. I did the same thing. However, he sucked really bad at it, and wound up performing a hit-and-run on a parked car. Vonda (his mother) now has a very, very damaged car.

Schuyler gets a girlfriend. That's fine. It's part of growing up. Not one that I was particularly good at, but, c'est la vie.

Schuyler is 17. Sadie is 14. This is a problem. Not technically a legal problem, but a problem, nonetheless.

Schuyler, like every other (teenage) male, is horny. He wants to put his penis in something. For single guys, we have hands and various lubrications. For guys with girls, well, there are other things. Schuyler and Sadie... Well, they fuck.

Blah, blah, blah, lectures are given, people are grounded, blah blah blah.

Sadie winds up pregnant.

Sadie admits she's pregnant 2 1/2 months before she is due to give birth.

Vonda takes charge. She takes custody of Sadie from her RAGINGLY ALCOHOLIC biological father, she schedules appointments with doctors, she does what Schuyler and Sadie are too immature/stupid/lazy to do on their own. Vonda takes charge, because she is going to have a grandbaby. And, when that child arrives, she is going to love it.

Vonda gets everyone to where they need to be on the special day, and things look fine.

Of course, things go to shit. Vonda is the only breadwinner in her family. Vonda's husband, Pat, has rheumatoid arthritis, so "can't work". Whatever.

Schuyler, of course, given that he has a child on the way, gets expelled from school one week before the end of the school year for tokin' in the boy's room.

And then, doesn't get a job.

Sadie, well, fuck. She's a 14-year old girl.

So, we have Vonda, trying to take care of this baby, her grandson, but, she has to work.

Sadie and Schuyler are dipshits. They are teenagers.

Things happen.

Darren/Darin -- Son of Schuyler and Sadie, Grandson of Vonda, Annoyance of Pat

This child, this innocent, this tabla rasa, this unfortunate, is in the hospital.

The "official" story is that Schuyler "accidentally" sat on Darren.

The truth is that Darren has a broken leg. Darren is less than six months old.

The truth is something that is horrible. The truth is that Darren is in the protective custody of the State. The truth is that there are people that need to go to jail. The truth is that Schuyler and Sadie need to have their parental rights terminated. The truth is that Darren should have been placed up for adoption. The truth is that Vonda's heart is broken. The truth is that there are some dipshits that need to have at BEST, a severe assbeating. The truth is that I am angry, and I am impotent do do anything.

The truth is that I want to beat the hell out of a seventeen year old boy (and that mustache isn't fooling anyone) and a fourteen year old girl.

But, then again, the truth is that I'm going to hell regardless of what I do.

Sorry for being such a bummer.

The new TMBG album, "The Else" is pretty good. And "TransFormers" kicks ass.
posted by Grant Bennett at 1:38 AM