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Saturday, July 01, 2006
Some people are lovers. Some are fighters. I'm not really either, but I had to restrain myself tonight to prevent my becoming the latter.
Most of us have cellphones at this point in THE FUTURE. And, most of us know proper cellphone ettiquite. However, there are still dipshits in this world. Dipshits that sorely deserve beatings in front of their husbands and children. That's right -- husbands. I went to see Superman Returns tonight. (Excellent movie, by the way.). During Superman's big speech, there is the sound of a phone ringing. "Odd choice of sound cues, Mr. Singer, but, well, why not?" I think. Then, the phone rings again. Louder. The fucking rag behind me answers this phone. "Hello? Yeah, I'm at the movies. I think it's almost over." After "Hello?", I give her the finger. Big and bad. Good ol' middle. I hope she saw it. I hope her child saw it. I hope her husband saw it. I rarely get angry. I mean, really truly angry. This fucking bitch, this God Damned rag, this insenitive CUNT, all but ruined the movie for me. In my head, I played many different scenes of what I wished would have gone down. All of them begin with the credits rolling. SCENE ONE I turn around. I face this dipshit. "Give me six dollars, bitch. You ruined the movie for me." SCENE TWO I turn around. I face this dipshit. "How's your friend, whore? That's right. I called you a whore in front of your child." SCENE THREE I turn around. I face this dipshit. I fucking punch her in the face. No talking, all action. What I actually did was this: I flipped her the fuck off until she left the theatre. Then, as the credits rolled, I said to my sister VERY LOUDLY, "You know what invention is really cool? The Cell Phone! I wish you would call me on it right now!" And then, I sat in my chair and shook. I was literally shaking with anger. I forced myself to stay in my seat so I wouldn't cause a big scene or do something regrettable. I hope that I taught the woman's child a lesson. I hope that she, her husband, her child, and her friend were embarrassed. And, I hope she "falls down the stairs" soon. I oppose capital punishment, and I don't think that domestic violence is funny, but, this fucking cuntrag deserves it. Not the chair, but at least a black eye from "running into a doorknob". TURN YOUR GOD DAMNED CELLULAR PHONE OFF WHEN YOU ARE WATCHING A MOVIE, YOU GOD DAMNED FUCKING CRAB-INFESTED PUSTULES! CELL PHONES ARE NO LONGER A STATUS SYMBOL! I HOPE THAT SYPHILLIS RENDERS YOU BLIND AND RETARDED, YOU FUCKING TURDS! MAY YOUR NEXT CHILD BE BORN WITH FLIPPER LIMBS, YOU ASS-BLEEDERS! JESUS ASS-RAPING CHRIST, I HOPE THAT THE NEXT TIME YOU DO THAT, THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU WILL KNOCK YOUR TEETH DOWN YOUR THROAT! I was fully prepared to punch a fat woman in the face tonight. And everyone in the audience would have been behind me. I don't know if it's a good thing that I'm a pussy or not. All I know is that that "female" was a piece of shit and needs to be punished. Severly. Right during Superman's speech, too. I hope your husband has a mistress, bitch. Cuz there's got to be better pussy that he can snag than you. Comments by: YACCS |