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Saturday, October 01, 2005
Yup. I'm a big tough man.
I became so frustrated and pissed off at work tonight that I had to go outside and cry. Just like John Wayne, Robert Mitchum and Clint Eastwood. Went outside, smoked a cigarette and had myself a cry.
I don't know why, but for some reason, tonight I took shit personally. Normally, when things get stupid, I'm able to let shit roll off of me. I'm able to shield myself emotionally. Tonight, however, I took things personally.
I know I've mentioned it before, but, I am an emotional sponge. I can pick up vibes like no other. Drop me into a city, and I can blend in. I catch a feel for the overlying mood of a locale and can match my mood. I don't know if it's a gift or what, but I'm able to do it. I respond in kind. If you are sarcastic, I am sarcastic. If you overreact, I overreact. It's a shield for me. I throw back what is thrown at me. Sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes it's bad, but it's what I do.
Things at work tonight were less than ideal. I was put into a situation, and tried my best to solve a problem. I admit that I did not keep my cool, but I was in a purely reactive mode. I tried to solve the problem with the information I was given, and, it wasn't the right solution.
I have only walked off of a job twice, including tonight. Both times, I came back.
I minored in Theatre in college. This has really gotten me nowhere in life, but I did learn things from it. One of the biggest things I learned was from Stanislavsky: "Don't come on stage with mud on your shoes." In other words, leave your shit at home. Don't bring personal stuff into work. No one wants to deal with your shit. Using this adage, I think that, even if your own life is shitty, don't make the lives of others the same way.
Some may dispute it, but I did walk away from work tonight. I gave up a section at the restaurant. "I'm done with the party," were my exact words. I was completely willing to walk away from my part of the tips, simply because $35 was not worth the frustration. I don't like being yelled at for things that are not only not part of my job, but completely out of my control. It was not my fault that we did not physically possess 35 plates of one size, so don't yell at me when we don't have them. I don't care that certain parties were lacking sleep. That's no cause to start calling employees idiots.
And, for some reason, I took it personally.
I have a BA in Mass Communications. I am not a stupid person. For the most part, anyway. I suck at math, but I am brilliant with language. I've read "A Brief History of Time" . Give me all the information to solve the problem, and, odds are, I'll solve it. Don't yell at me when you've given me incomplete information.
Blah blah blah. I went outside and cried at work. I'm a big tough man.
Comments by: YACCS