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Thursday, June 09, 2005
Creativity sucks. Honestly, it does.
Now, if you read my previous posts and such, you'll often see me lamenting my lack of creativity. Most of the time, this is true. I've not written a song in a very, very long time. But, I have written many, many songs. I've not had a good idea for a story or screenplay in years. Yet, I have had many good ideas for stories and screenplays. Let me explain. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has moments of lucidity right before falling asleep. I hope I'm not the only one, anyway. I don't know how it is for other people, but for me, there are times when I will hear entire symphonies before running into Optimus Prime and the rest of the Autobots as they pretend to fight against the Decepticons while keeping the real war secret from the rest of humanity. I hope I'm not the only one who has screenplays not only written, but storyboarded and anamaticed (v. an-a-MAT-ikt, to run a storyboard through an animated rough draft) before hanging out with The Beastie Boys and convincing them that they are good enough to record another album. A good chunk of my friends are in bands. Not shitty bands, either. Really good bands. Listening to them perform, I am in awe. I have written five songs in my life: "When the Soap Gets In My Pisshole (It Makes me Want to Cry)", "I Am Spanking My Own Ass ('Cause I'm so Bad to You)", "Oh Yeah", "Curvee" and "Johnny Has ADD". These cats, the cats in Ideal Cleaners, Terminals, Eagle*Seagull, The Bad Sects, Icarian Bird, (The Zyklon) Brimstone (Bees) Howl, The Master 8000, Sad Old Lady, all of these cats... five songs is nothing to them. It's less than an EP. These cats understand the link between thought, language, image and melody far better than I do. Unless I am almost asleep. Then, I am a genius. While some people might call me out, I do not have shitty taste in music. If I say something's good, it generally is. It may take you a few listens to get it, but when I say something's good, I'm not a liar. I just wish that I were more talented. I have talent, but it's very, very limited. I can't play piano, I can barely play guitar, I can't read music, I can't transcribe music, and while I'd like to think I can put words together in a clever way, my best work is this: Doesn't take PCP, Doesn't take LSD. He takes Ritalin. Sometimes he commits a sin. He simply can't sit still unless he has his little pill. Attention span of a gnat, he likes playing with his cat. Johnny has ADD, and that's OK with me. Long as he's had his pill, he's someone that I won't kill. Gets distracted easily, 'specially when he has to pee. Sometimes he can be a pain without Ritalin in his brain. He likes to look at girls. The ones with their hair in curls. Still lives with his folks. Camel is the brand he smokes. Johnny has ADD, and that's OK with me. As long as he's had his pill he's someone that I won't kill. (guitar solo) Johnny has ADD. That's alright with me. As long as he's had his pill, he's someone that I won't kill. Johnny has ADD. He says, "Don't pity me. I'm just an average Joe, but my mind is always on the go!" (guitar solo and outro) And that's my A Game. Compared to something like "Get Me Away from Here, I'm Dying" by Belle and Sebastian: Ooh! Get me away from here I'm dying Play me a song to set me free Nobody writes them like they used to So it may as well be me Here on my own now after hours Here on my own now on a bus Think of it this way You could either be successful or be us With our winning smiles, and us With our catchy tunes and words Now we're photogenic You know, we don't stand a chance Oh, I'll settle down with some old story About a boy who just like me Thought there was love in everything and everyone You're so naive! They always reach a sorry ending They always get it in the end Still it was worth it as I turned the pages solemnly, and then With a winning smile, the poor boy With naivety succeeds At the final moment, I cried I always cry at endings Oh, that wasn't what I meant to say at all From where I'm sitting, rain Falling against the lonely tenement Has set my mind to wander Into the windows of my lovers They never know unless I write "This is no declaration, I just thought I'd let you know goodbye" Said the hero in the story "It is mightier than swords I could kill you sure But I could only make you cry with these words" What the hell do I have to bring to the table? I can't play the music in my head, I can't write the stories down without losing them by waking up... Shit, I'm a big ol' nerd, but even I can't write a song like MC Chris. mcchrisownz MC Chris ownz I wanna go to an MC Chris show But he never tours, so, in the meantime I'm gonna memorize all of his rhymes I spell w3rd with a three Name's MC Other rappers flow weak Like window unit AC's Latinas on my penis Japanese on they knees I love all the ladies As long as they eighteen I got bling up the ying A plethora of Porsches I'll say anything 'Cause my mouth is remorseless Even The Source says My hip hop's a vortex Leave horseheads on doorsteps My mic checks cost Corvettes The strobe light explodes white As I step on the floor The barkeep knows the code So he throws me a Stroh's Weak MC's decompose 'Cause they know I can flow Like Wessel comma Zam Through Courosant corridors Humidors filled with stoges Filled with dro Like 90210 Is filled with the word bro Fuck the lexicon of octagons I'm all about go These amateurs got catheters I'm all about pro's MC Chris ownz I wanna go to an MC Chris show But he never tours, so, in the meantime I'm gonna memorize all of his rhymes I'm lit like a Branch Davidian Or what's left of the lithium In Cobain's cranium I fill Wembly Stadium Once bitten, twice shy Call it "Pyromania" When I roll up in Kashyyyk I roll three Jedi's The fleet of peeps that I creep All got vest's underneath There's no need to believe In the heat that I keep Or the swears that I *bleep* Of the heiresses I freak It's embarrising to me I'm like kerosene it seems Or D-R-E-W B with incendiary schemes Blowin' up, makin' cream I am just like Howard Dean When I scream I get red I get mean Can't believe you be buying What I be shucking and jiving Fuck it if I am the next big thing With promotional tie-ins I am just cartoon making rapper You think I'm lying Everybody bust a move Like it is that rave in Zion My self aggradizing and deprecation keeps 'em guessing Call my Venus Flytrap 'Cause my DJ's Howard Hessman Word 'em up, yo Word 'em up, yo I just let the rap game Out of a choke hold MC Chris ownz I wanna go to an MC Chris show But he doesn't tour, so in the meantime I'm gonna memorize all of his rhymes Fer the love of Christ! He name-checks Zam Wessel (the assassin who tried to kill Padme in "Attack of the Clones") AND Kashyyyk (the Wookie homeworld). Not to mention "WKRP in Cincinatti" and "The Matrix". So, to sum shit up: I am creative, but only right before I fall asleep. Or when I'm a freshman in college. Comments by: YACCS |