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So, Rev. Fred Phelps is in town.

Motherfucker.

I honestly don't care where you fit on the spectrum. Some people are gay, some aren't. I don't care whether or not you feel that homosexuality is a choice or is biologically determined. I don't care if you're homophobic or queer friendly.

I do know that Jesus Christ did not preach hatred towards your fellow man. The only genocides that were called for in the Bible was when God told the Israelites to wipe out the Caananites. Beyond that, nothing. (Note: I am not a theologian. I may misunderstand things.)

Honestly, though. Are there not bigger problems in the world today than who wants to put his penis in what sort of hole? Does God hate blowjobs? Handjobs? Does God hate it when a woman recieves oral pleasure from her partner? Does God hate it when you do it doggie style? Does God hate titfucking? What about when you pull out and cum on a woman's stomach? What if, heaven forbid, she swallows?

Can women be fags? I know some lesbians, and, they're more manly than I am. Who does God hate more -- me for listening to Belle and Sebastian, or two women licking each other's crotches?

If AIDS is a curse from God, what about random mutations that affect the formation of cheekbones? Is Down's Syndrome also a curse from God? Cervical cancer when a woman catches it from a man with genital warts? Are these things also punishments?

When I heard that ol' Fred was in town, I wanted to see the picket lines. I wanted to drive past repeatedly playing "You're Too Straight To Love Me" by Oh My God. I wanted to set up a counter-protest holding a sign that said "Love Thy Neighbor" or "Jesus Saves" or "Jesus was a Jew who lived with Twelve Single Men". And then, I remembered that these cuntbleeds, these asswipes, these cockholes, these shitfucks, these clusterfucks, these afterbirths, these pockmarks, these ... how the fuck did I run out of words? These subhumans need as little attention paid to them as possible.

I ignored them. 'Cept, obviously, here.

Ignoring rage is hard. Preventing rage from becoming blinding is even harder. Can we please take the country back from the "Religious Right"? They're like the Moral Majority -- neither moral nor majority.

That's all I got.
posted by Grant Bennett at 2:01 AM