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Monday, September 27, 2004
So, CBS has been fined $500,000 for the Super Bowl incident. Surely you remember. Janet Jackson flashed a boob, thereby allowing Osama Bin Laden to take over the United States of America, establishing an Islamic Theocracy based in Washington, DC. That was the day that the dream of America died. Tit flash=destruction of Western Civilization.

Or, perhaps, there was a flash of boob on network TV that lasted less than one second, and not a damned thing changed.

Anyway, I have developed a plan.

Before I reveal this plan, I must ask you some questions.

1) Are you male?
2) Are you in favor of boobs?

If you answered yes to either of those questions, then I can reveal my plan. If you answered no, fuck off.

My plan is this: Everyone who liked seeing bare naked titty on TV should send a nickel to CBS to help defray the cost of the fine. If you are under 10, or, the first boob you've seen belonged to Janet Jackson, you should chip in a dime.

I am male. I am in favor of boobs. I am in favor of boobs in many different situations. Much like dinosaurs. Any cool thing can be made even cooler with dinosaurs. If dinosaurs had been present in Sky Captain, it would have been even cooler. If Gwenyth Paltrow and Angelina Jolie had gotten topless and made out for like a half hour during the movie, it wouldn't have made the movie suck by any stretch. Boobs are better than dinosaurs, but not by much.

So, if you agree with my plan, let me know. If you were offended by bare-assed titties during the Super Bowl, you are totally gay.

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If you are in the Lincoln, NE area, and you see that the Zyklon Bees are playing, you need to drop what you are doing and go see them. Fucking awesome, even if one of the guitarists looks 13.

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RIP, Rank. If you want more details, check Fairly Crass.





Comments by: YACCS