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Monday, September 06, 2004
I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but, I have many, many theories about how the world works. One of my main theories is about how jokes come into existance.

Everyone knows jokes. Everyone has heard a joke from another person, and the joke spreads, virus-like, into the general population. But, there must be an originator. Someone has to be the first to tell a joke. My theory is thus: There is a Joke Guru who lives on the beach in Southern California. He dresses in robes, much like Jesus, or Mark DeLaughter of Polyphonic Spree. He has a crowd of diciples gathered around him, and, all day, he tells jokes. He dispenses the little nuggets of humor, not in a "You GOTTA hear this joke!" way, but more like the standard Jesus on the Mount way. "I say unto thee, a grasshopper walks into a bar..."

I am positive that this is actually the truth, because someone came up with a nearly identical theory independent from me. So, if you ever happen across what looks like a cult sitting on a beach in Southern California, you might want to stop and see what's going on. You could walk away with a first-generation joke, unsullied by the countless permutations that happen with the transmission of a meme.

Also, you should apologize to Jesus DeLaughter for the jokes that I just came up with, and am posting here. They are terrible.

Q: What sort of dump does an Eskimo take?
A: An icy BM!

Q: Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
A: No, it's through my penis.

Thank you, and good night. I am off to a barbecue.

Comments by: YACCS