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Tuesday, November 18, 2003
ATTENTION LADIES:
I'm not sure what you were thinking as you were driving down the street with all your sorority sisters, but, if you see four guys walking on the sidewalk, it's just not really cool to ask them if they are "the gay guys." Yes, there is a gay bar about a block away, but, seriously. For what will probably not be the last time -- I AM NOT GAY. All of my songs are dedicated to my one true love -- the ladies. ATTENTION ROCK AND ROLLERS: If you are going to be playing instrumentals, and ONLY instrumentals, you had best be doing it in one of two genres: surf rock or funk. Sometimes blues. Not metal. Ever. Either say something ("Ohio" by CSN&Y) or say nothing ("Surfin' Bird" by The Trashmen), but at least use words. I don't want to see you wanking about onstage for hours. I catch plenty of that at home. ATTENTION PEOPLE TRYING TO GET ME ON BOARD WITH SOMETHING: Letting me know that a particular band, The JRZ System, has been listed several times in the High Times magazine's "Pot 100" (the best things to do when high), is really not the way to go about it. I do support the legalization of marijuana, and I have smoked my share of bowls, but, it's not something I do now, and will likely not do again. I can do without even more paranoia, I don't need the munchies, and, honestly, I like booze better. ATTENTION JAM BANDS: Stop. Please. Just stop. ATTENTION HIPPIES: No one wants to see you dance. Ever. So don't. --- I find the concept of joie de vivre to be tedious. Nothing good ever comes from that. Give me angst, or confusion, or sorrow, or happiness about something in particular, but a general gladness to be alive does not make for great art. I don't ask for all music and whatnot to be angry. Far from it. Would I like "ABC" by The Jackson Five if that were true? Would I listen to They Might Be Giants if I wanted more rage in my life? No. I like happy stuff. But, I want it to be happy with a purpose. Of course, one of my several future bands will write a song about how music is great. Simply because the concept of writing a song about music is retarded. --- Heard some great Dead Baby jokes this weekend. And a few about spousal abuse and gang rape. Always comedy gold. Laughing through the tears. Comments by: YACCS |