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Wednesday, February 05, 2003
The highlight of my week thusfar:

Going into the local video rental/music store (Movie Magic) and browsing their selection. I knew that I wanted to buy something. Would it be the latest Queens of the Stone Age album, "Songs for the Deaf"? Would it be "The Donnas Spend The Night"? Would it be Rocket From The Crypt's "Songs from Camp X-Ray"? Nope. Well, really, the only one they had in stock was "Songs for the Deaf", and, while I like what I've heard of the Queens, I didn't know that I wanted to plunk down greater-than-retail cash bling for it.

No, I was in the mood for something else. Some funny. But, it wasn't in stock.

Went to the counter. The owner of the joint was working, and she asked if she could help me.

"Well, I hope so," I said. "I'd like to place an order."

"Alright," said Cathy. "What can we get you?"

""Shut Up You Fucking Baby" by David Cross," I said, grinning. "I think it's on Sub Pop."

Should be in tomorrow.

I've heard a little itty-bitty bit of the album. My friend Hutt has it, and I had to listen to part of it. In the basement.

My friends in Lincoln have a rule -- really, really offensive stuff can only be said in the basement, or if G4 is on TV upstairs. Or, if my friend Chief is present. Otherwise, you run the risk of performing minstrel shows in public, and that's no good for anyone. Not everyone digs satire and/or horrible, horrible racism/sexism/buttfuckery like we do.

So, I brought the CD down to the basement and clicked through the tracks. The titles listed on the sleeve are lies. Big, fat lies. But, my friends assured me that there was one track that would, simply by hearing it, condemn me to hell. I'm pretty sure they were right.

Now, I didn't listen to David's rants about the courage that President George W. Bush displayed by executing the retarded while he was governor of Texas ("Yay! Seatbelts for my arms! Seatbelts for my legs!"). No, I listened to his take on the Catholic Priest scandal. He does some extrapolation: Priests are the representatives of God on Earth. Priests are, for all intents and purposes, God. If Priests like to fuck little boys...

Yup. I'm purchasing this album.

Comments by: YACCS