All I know is that I don't know.
All I know is that I don't know nuthin'.

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Sunday, January 19, 2003
Update on my butt:

Turns out it was a MASSIVE Staph infection. Near as I can figure, I had a hair follicle that got infected and then went insane, forming what I believe to be a carbuncle. A carbuncle is a series of boils connected underneath the skin. Anyway, about a week ago, I went back to Lincoln, and we all went to go see Gangs of New York. It's really good, but I was torn between cheering for political corruption and amorality and wishing that the Draft Riots had utterly destroyed what became New York City. While watching it, I grew to hate PT Barnum and his evil, evil circus; police; firefighters; gangs; immigrants; 'natives'; "Christianity"; St. Michael and The Union Army. At the same time, it made me proud to be part of a nation that gleefully violates its own laws and pisses on everything that it is supposed to stand for. Strange feelings.

Anyway, it took me about an hour, on top of Tylenol 3 and ibuprofen to be able to sit comfortably and watch the film. When it was over, I stood up (slowly), and noticed that something was... different. Long story short, I had to take a shower and wash my jeans and underpants.

Speaking of strange feelings, I went back to Lincoln again this weekend. Most of my friends there live in one house. Mike, Hutt and Jarrod. Now, I talked to Jarrod, and he said that Mike and Hutt were probably going to go and see About Schmidt, so they would probably be gone by the time I got to Lincoln. So, Jarrod suggested that I go to Lincoln Espresso, which is where he would be. So, I did so, and was mighty proud of myself. I was proud, because I didn't get lost once. (Of course, I never get 'lost' -- I just see things that weren't on my agenda. Unless we are talking about St. Joseph, MO. St. Joe is laid out like one of my SimCity maps. I suck at SimCity. My designs are gawdawful. St. Joe is not a navigable city. Lincoln is better, but I suck at it.) While there, I met Jarrod's girlfriend, Kelly. They've been together for several months, but I'd never met her. Jarrod seems to have adopted a policy that I approve of -- keep girls away from your asshole friends. It's not that you want to deny having a girlfriend or anything like that -- it's just going to work better if two groups don't intermingle.

So, the coffee shop closed, and Jarrod clued me in on how to get into the house if no one was there. (Not gonna divulge that here.). So, I went to the house, and Jarrod and Kelly left, presumably for Kelly's place. Got to the house, and it turns out that the movie was sold out, so everyone just stayed home and played EverQuest (Hutt) and Kingdom Hearts (Mike). Sat around, wasted time, watched Beavis & Butt-Head and Mr. Show, had some beer, and went to bed.

While I was waiting for sleep, I started to feel... odd. I thought about it, and thought about it, and realized that I was experiencing jealousy. Here's the strange part -- I wasn't sure why. I didn't know if I was jealous because Jarrod had someone to, presumably, cuddle with and smooch on (there are things that are NOT discussed among certain friends of mine), or jealous because Jarrod was hanging out with someone else.

Never experienced that before. Of course, my homies, my ka-tet, traditionally hasn't dated, or even really hung out with girls. We're no He-Man Woman Hater's Club -- we're just dorks. I'm fairly certain that we all have, at the very least, smooched on girls, but beyond that, I don't know, and I don't think I want to know. Not something that's discussed. None of us has a 'line' or a 'technique' or anything like that. Nor do we actively search for the opposite sex. Not for lack of interest in females. For me, at least, it's a lack of interest in people in general. My default setting isn't hostility towards my fellow humans or anything like that -- it's just tough for me to find 'conversation topics that interest other people'.

Comments by: YACCS