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Wednesday, August 28, 2002
Boil order is still in effect. Thankfully, the rumor didn't grow legs. The boil order was issued per state regulations. Probably will be over tomorrow.

Currently listening to a GREAT song: "Last Caress" by The Misfits. If you're not familiar with it, here are the lyrics:

I got something to say --
I killed a baby today,
And it doesn't matter much to me
As long as it's dead.

I got something to say --
I raped your mother today,
And it doesn't matter much to me
As long as she spread.

Sweet, lovely Death,
I'm waiting for your breath.
Just let me take
One Last Caress

Now, you read the lyrics and probably think "WTF? That shit ain't right!" And I agree. I also understand that I find the song to be funny as hell. It's a genre that's been well established -- the "murder ballad", to steal from Nick Cave. "Mack The Knife" by Bobby Darin. "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" by The Beatles. "The Nights Went Out In Georgia" by Vicki Lawrence. "Dark Lady" by Cher. "Werewolves of London" by Warren Zevon. "Delia's Gone" by Johnny Cash. "Don't Mess Around With Jim" by Jim Croce. All nice, happy little ditties about killing someone. Not the heavy stuff like "Me And A Gun" by Tori Amos. Or anything else by Tori Amos. Or "Cop Killer" by Body Count. Or "By The Time I Get To Arizona" by Public Enemy. Or "Orenthal James Was A Mighty Bad Man" by Mojo Nixon. While those songs are enjoyable, they're not just about the simple joys of murdering someone in a fit of passion or revenge. I'm waiting for someone (perhaps me) to write "The Ballad of Jeffery Dahmer" or "John Wayne Gacy's Blues" or "Ed Gein Was A Complete And Utter Clusterfuck" or "The Boston Strangler Got Me Down" or Rulo, Nebraska PTA" or "Why The Hell Doesn't Someone Burn Skidmore, MO To The Ground?".

This being said, I can not fucking stand Eminem. I don't care if his flow be fresh or not. I don't like him as a person or a rapper. I don't care if he is sucking Dr. Dre's dick. True, Dre did bring Snoop Dogg to the world, and that's a good thing. Much love to "The Chronic". At least Snoop understands the joke that he's become. He can still rock the mic, but he knows that he's no longer got street cred.

Truth be told, I don't much dig the current 'rap' or 'hip-hop' or 'gantsta-pop' scene. It's fucking stagnant. It's filled with Cristal-swilling, bling-bling nightmares. Kid Rock gets the joke. Eminem doesn't. His lyrics don't offend me -- he does.

I could rap about killing faggots and beating bitches til the cows come home. Don't make me popular. I could bitch and moan about Munchausen-by-proxy day and night, bitch. Sucka MCs always tryin'a play me, and you don't hear me whine about it. Hell, who HASN'T performed a duet with Elton John to prove they weren't riding the mantrain?

Fuck. Give me real rebels in rocknroll. I want Axl back. Where the hell are my rock stars? Where are the performers that make me shake my head, giggle and say "Oh, that nut. What will he do next?" instead of saying "It's the fall of Rome, people. The fall of goddamn Rome!" I don't demand that my rock stars die at age 27. I don't want them to become parodies of themselves, either. Where is my generation's Johnny Rotten? Where is my Diamond David Lee Roth? Why am I stuck with Fred Durst and all the other nu-"metal" shit? And I don't mean Andrew WK, either. He's fucking insane.

Dammit, I'm only 25, and I'm already bitching about the way music used to be.

Comments by: YACCS