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So, I am one of the unfortunate many who contracted the Klez virus. My system is now back up to speed, save one part -- I have no sound. Sure, everything shows up in my device manager, but, it sure as hell isn't doing anything. Fucking virii manufacturers. They need to be punched in the penii or clitorii. They need to have a rupture. And, yes. That is, in fact, a threat. They inconvience me. I'd like to listen to some mp3s while I update this here 'blog, but, no. They have taken away that joy from me. Someone must be held accountable for this. It's either the maker of the virus, or Computer Associates, who made my virus scanner (InnoculateIT). I'm going to blame the maker, since, if he or she didn't make the damned thing, I wouldn't need a virus scanner in the first place. I wish mechanical sterilization upon them. I wish urinary tract infections upon them. I wish for leeches and ticks to latch onto their piss-holes. That's right -- their piss-holes. The hole from which urine emerges from the urethra. That's a piss-hole. I also wish upon them benign colon polyps, hemmoroids that burst, and cotton mouth.

---

While I'm on a rant, might as well continue it on a different subject: "truth" ads.

Is smoking bad for you? Yes. Should kids smoke? No. Should I smoke? No. Do I smoke? Yes. I smoke Camel Lights. I'm smoking one right now, in fact. I'm also drinking a beer. I'll probably be eating some red meat later on, and consuming some dairy products. Just to make sure that I'm on everyone's shit list, I'm gonna say once again that I support torture as a punishment and don't believe in human rights.

But, these damned "truth" ads piss me off. I don't like the idea of a government agency using a leftist artistic technique to spread their message. Leave guerilla film making to guerillas, dammit!

That's it for now.

posted by Grant Bennett at 8:46 PM