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Thursday, February 21, 2002
So, after seeing that Fox is showing a fucking EATING contest, I have a few new ideas for game/reality/extreme shows.

Morbidly Obese People Falling Down -- it's all video of people who weigh in excess of 300 lbs falling down on ice. Then they eat butter.

What Can You Fit In Your Ass? -- The prize is based on how many inches over 2 in diameter the objects that are placed in your ass are. $1,000 per inch. So, if you stick a can in your ass, you don't get any money. But, if you shove your fist up there, well, by golly, you get more money! And, if you manage to fit a bowling ball in your anus, fuck -- you are set for life!

What Will You Do for $20,000? -- Nothing is out of bounds here! Sleep with a syphillis-infected homeless person! Light your pubic hair on fire! Have freon pumped into your ass! Slice your penis in half! Whoever comes up with the most EXTREME stunt wins the money!

For $3 Billion... -- This one is different from the previous concept. Here, the 'deeds' are pre-selected, and you have to decide if you will let them happen, or perform them, as the case may be. For example, for $30,000, would you masturbate to orgasm over the corpse of a hobo? For an extra $20 grand, would you then lick your juices off of said dead hobo? For $20 million, would you trade arms to a known terrorist nation in exchange for the lives of American hostages? For $75,000, would you kick a World War II veteran in the balls until he bleeds? For an extra $500,000, would you then laugh at him? For $100 million, would you make your grandma cry by having sex with a dog in front of her? For $200 million, would you let 6 Jews be put into an oven? For $600 million, would you let a baby with Down's syndrome, hydro-encephalitis, spina bifida AND fragile-x syndrome be ripped apart by wolves? For $800 million, would you let yourself be gang-raped by no less than 20 and no more than 50 convicted sex offenders? For an extra $200 million, would you then drink their semen after it has been sucked out of your bleeding asshole? All the way up to the top prize -- $3 BILLION!!! For you to get that, you have to rape to death every resident in an Alzheimer's ward in a nursing home, and then show the videotape to the patient's families. Then, when you're done showing the video, you have to slit the throat of a puppy and a kitten, and then fuck the windpipe of each animal until you achieve orgasm.

Seriously -- just how far do we, as a society, have to fall until we say "No, I'm not going to watch that." How long before vomitoriums come back into vogue? How long until NAMBLA becomes mainstream? Seriously, sometimes I think that John Doe from Se7en was the good guy.

Comments by: YACCS