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Wait -- this isn't an instant messaging program. If it were, my guess is that you would have logged off AGES ago, assuming that by my typing 'brb' meant 'big rooong blayk', which would also mean that you assume that I use a stereotypical Chinese accent when speaking. Well, I don't, thank you very much. I speak with a midwestern American accent.

---

I propose that we classify virii as 'undead'. Apparently, the little fuckers aren't alive, but they reproduce. They ain't dead, cuz, ummm, they ain't. So, they must be undead. And the fact that they SUCK OUT YOUR WILL TO LIVE would tend to put them into that category, too. So, we need to have 3 things on that tree thing that they use when showing species, genus, kingdom, etc, etc. Plant, Animal, and UNDEAD ZOMBIE!!! And it should be spelled like that, too. UNDEAD ZOMBIE!!!. With 3 exclamation points.

I got the damn flu. I hate the damn flu. I think that it should be referred to as the damn flu. No one could possibly be offended by it.

News Anchor: And, in health news, the damn flu has appeared in town, and has began sucking the will to live out of people. The elderly and children should be especially careful at this time of year, because the damn flu just plain sucks, and might kill you if you're not tough. If you're pregnant, stay the hell inside, because you don't want the damn flu.

See? I work in media. Anyone who thinks that damning the flu is wrong or obscene or anything like that, well, fuck off.

I haven't had the damn flu in years. I don't recall ever being vaccinated for it, either. I just have a robust immune system. Know how tough I am? I drank TAP WATER in ITALY with no ill effects. That's how tough I am. I'm so tough that I don't get sick until everyone else has been over whatever bug has gone around for like 2 weeks. I get the MUTANT NINJA GOJIRA BUG, because in it's unmutated form I just laugh at it.

I don't laugh at the mutant, however. It sucks. But, I get to take NyQuill, and, that makes things better. Plus, my voice is FUCKING AWESOME right now. From the coughing, you see. I've been coughing, and tearing the hell out of my voice. Nothing hurts with it, but, my voice can go waaay low.

Damn flu, anyway.

I have a dunlop. Thanks to Johnny Payphone for the phrase. It r001z J00.

Stay 1337.

EOF
posted by Grant Bennett at 7:51 PM